Tiger trap
Like anyone who has picked up a paper or turned on the TV in the past 48 hours, I am completely exhausted about the Tiger Woods drama. I continue to be amazed at the appetite America has on celebrity gossip. Because Woods is a sports star, this story has captivated the whole country. Yesterday I was in a sports bar with Nimit and Anay watching the basketball game, and every other table was talking about Woods cheating on his wife. I am kind of split. On the one hand, this is a matter between Tiger and his wife. It is nobody's business but theirs. On the other hand, WTF Tiger?! You are one of the ten most recognized people in the world. Are you so stupid that you think you wouldn't get caught. He left text messages, voicemails, and emails to one of the two women he is accused of cheating with. Did he really not think there was a chance some of that could be leaked? But more importantly, when you get married, that's it, you are with that woman for the rest of your life. If you can't commit to her, then don't get married. Stay single and be with all the women you want! When you get married, knock it off! It is just amazing how weak these men get when they get rich and famous.
Speaking of athletics, Men's Health magazine has their list of ten things you need if you are to be considered a Men's Health athlete:
1. Bench 1.5 times your body weight.
2. Run 1.5 miles in ten minutes.
3. Touch the rim
4. Leg press 2.25 times your body weight.
5. Swim 700 yards in 12 minutes.
6. Do 40 pushups without a break.
7. Have a waist to hip ratio of 0.81 inches or less.
8. Run 300 yards in one minute.
9. Touch your toes (standing and sitting).
10. Toss a basketball 75 feet while kneeling.
Apparently I have some work to do. I could do the swimming, touch my toes, and probably run 300 yards in one minute. After that are some question marks.
posted by cyclonejohn @ 4:42 PM
6 Comments:
that list is horrible. It doesn't take into account the differences in people's body types at all. I'm guessing there is at least one thing on that list that Phelps can't do, yet his flipper feet make it easy for him to complete #5.
The day I see Fidler touch the rim I will crap my pants.
Don't you know, your body type doesn't mean anything? If you're a real man, you will use your mind and your willpower to make yourself all of these things and to mold your body to whatever you want it to be. Just like real women can starve themselves to size 2 no matter what. Diversity is way overrated, anyway.
Don't worry, John...as long as there's a step ladder involved, your dreams of touching the rim will come true, I just know it.
i also have a lot of work to do.
Step ladder? I was thinking more of a trampoline. And some moon boots. And a good gust of wind. And a few protein bars. And maybe some fairy dust.
You sons of bitches! All of you. :) You just wait until I dunk on all of you.
Post a Comment
<< Home