I'm not a vegetarian because I don't like eating animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

It is official. Our economic stimulus checks from the government our set to arrive on Monday. Because this is basically “free” money, I have decided that nothing productive or worthwhile will be spent with this check. I have a few ideas. One, it is summer concert time. A few concerts that are coming to town are Coldplay or R.E.M. and Modest Mouse. I would be interested in going to both or one of the two if I could find someone to go with me. In addition, I am going to need to take a trip somewhere. My parents have invited me later this summer to go with them to Washington D.C. I think I will go. I really love D.C. and there are several new exhibits that I have wanted to check out. Also, I really like visiting college campuses. I don’t know why, I just always have. It would be fun to check out Georgetown or George Washington or American University. In addition, there are talks of checking out a Twins vs. Royals game in Kansas City and I doubt I will go another month or two without heading to Chicago.

1. I am excited. I am officially a columnist for USA Today. Before you start congratulating me… It will be a columnist for an inter-office newsletter. Despite there being a lot of journalists and editors that work for USA Today, we have never actually had a newsletter. I have been nominated to write a column once a month called “News of the weird”. The basic premise is there will be one state picked out each month that I will find weird and interesting facts and write about. My first state… Nebraska. I have already found all kinds of interesting things about the state and the university. Did you know that Kool-Aid was invented there? Did you know that they are the only unicameral legislature in the United States? That means they only have one legislative body and not two. Most states have a house and a senate, or a bicameral legislature. Did you know that the world’s richest man, Warren Buffett, lives in Omaha and his company, Berkshire Hathway, is headquartered there. I have about twenty written down so I could go on for a while.

2. I know I am in the minority but I absolutely love the NBA. I don’t care what anybody says, there is tremendous basketball being played right now. Chris Paul is the next superstar. The Celtics vs. Lebron James is electric. And can anyone stop Kobe Bryant? Is Dwight Howard going to be the best center of the past twenty-five years? Is he already? I am totally hooked by the NBA right now.

3. In other news, metrosexual Ryan Seacrest has signed on to do another job! He is already the hardest working man in show business. He is reportedly going to replace Larry King on CNN when King retires. The man is a force.

4. I want a doggie.

5. Is anybody doing anything fun for Mother’s Day?

6. I want to go mountain bike riding somewhere? It would be fun to get a bunch of people together and meet somewhere and go. For instance, Madison has a ton of cool places to go biking.

7. Can you notice I am bored at work? Ha! I hope everyone has a nice weekend and enjoys this beautiful weather. I know I will be. I already made my third Dairy Queen visit in the past 72 hours. I had some Dairy Queen cake yesterday. I love DQ ice cream cake, but I especially love the middle fudge section of their IC cake. Why can’t they make a cake that is just that?