Random thoughts from people our age (bangit)

1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
8. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fck was going on when I first saw it.
11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
14. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
16. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
17. Was learning cursive really necessary?
18. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
21. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"
24. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
26. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
27. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
30. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
31. Bad decisions make good stories
32. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
33. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
34. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
36. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
37. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
38. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
39. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
42. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
43. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking
.44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
45. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
47. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
48. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
49. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
50. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
51. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
52. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
53. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
54. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than with Kay.
55. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Standard Definition

It was a great day yesterday. Calories don't count on your birthday and I had McDonald's for breakfast, doughnuts for lunch, deep dish pizza from The Art of Pizza, and then Ann surprised me with an awesome Dairy Queen ice cream cake. It was not a good situation.

1. New polls in Arkansas suggest that only 45% of people from that state think Obama is an American citizen. A quarter think he is not, and a quarter are "unsure". What a joke! I have always said I would want to live in a state with warmth. I could never live in the South because the people there are backwards idiots. Give me a break!

2. I highly recommend all of you read the last page of Time magazine this week. It has an article called Cheating Rocks! by Joel Stein. Basically, he points out the hypocrisy of sports fans, in particular baseball fans, when it involves steroids. His point is we are appaled if athletes use steroids or swimmers "cheat" by using full-body poolyurethane suits but if an athlete pays $5000 for LASIK eye surgery making his vision 20/15, that's fine. We as Americans are obsessed with articial enhancement. We artificially enhance our face with botox. We are prozaked, diet pills, tooth whitening, hypocrits. Who uses a dictionary when we have a spell-checker. Who works out when we have liposuction. His point is if steroids allow athletes to prolong their career, not get hurt as often, and perform their jobs more efficiently, than why shouldn't they be allowed to do it. Athletes know the risks. I am not saying I agree with his point... but I do find it interesting.

Golden Birthday

24 on the 24th. Statistically, I should be in my athletic peak. I feel pretty good. I would be feeling better if I didn't begin my birthday by having multiple Egg McMuffins and Caribou Coffee. I'm a little tired because I stayed up late with a half dozen people to see the late showing of Inglorious Bastards. I give it an A-/B+. I really liked it. The movie is completely historically inaccurate. However, it is really bad-ass, funny, well acted, and well written. Like most Tarentino movies, it is quite violent; but not any more than his other films.

1. During the previews for the movie, I saw the preview for the Megan Fox horror film, Jennifer's Body? Am I the only one who would be happier never seeing or hearing from Fox ever again? Yes, I realize she is attractive. In Los Angelas, there are beautiful actresses everywhere. If you're a director, why not hire one who is not an airhead? She is obsessed with herself and her sexuality. She has hideous tattoos? I believe The Onion comedic writer, Amelie Gillette, said it best when she wrote that Fox's Marilyn Monroe tattoo on her forearm is so blurry, that "it looks like she pressed Silly Putty to a newspaper photo, then took it to a tattoo parlor and said, 'I want this on me.'". Or, how about my favorite Megan Fox quote, "If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it's like you can smell the warmth in the fat. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like fats, and I have no idea why." Stay classy San Diego!

2. There is no doubt if I am still living in Chicago next year that I need to go see Lollapalooza. The music festival was here two weeks ago. Look at these bands that came: The Killers, Depeche Mode, Tool, Jane's Addiction, Kings of Leon, Vampire Weekend, Lou Reed, The Decemberists, Neko Case, Arctic Monkeys, Snoop Dogg, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, TV on the Radio, Rise Against, Cold War Kids, Thievery Corporation, Andrew Bird, and more!! What a great line-up.

3. My league had my first initial fantasy football draft. I am so/so on my team.

QB - Peyton Manning, Kyle Orton
RB - Steven Jackson, Frank Gore, Ryan Grant, Joseph Addai, Shonn Green
WR - Marques Colston, Kevin Walter, Dominique Hixon, Percy Harvin
TE - Zach Miller, Dustin Keller
D - NY Giants
Head Coach - Steelers
K - Jason Elam

4. It is a joke that ESPN says Derek Jeter should win the AL MVP award. C'mon! Joe Mauer is better defensively, has a higher batting average, more RBIs, more home runs, a higher slugging percentage. The MVP is not a lifetime achievement award, nor is it the award for the best player on the best team. If Jeter gets the award over Mauer, MLB should be ashamed of themselves.

5. I bought a Chicago Tribune today. I was disappointed to read that robberies and muggings are way up this year. Just last week a gentlemen was robbed on North Wilton Avenue... oh yeah, that is the street I live on! There have been 17,000 reported robberies in just the past 12 months according to the Tribune. It is stories like these that make me less interested in continuing to live in Chicago proper. Maybe moving to a first ring suburb like Evanston, or at least a safer area of Chicago like Edison Park would be better.

I gotta feeling

It has been a great couple of days in Chicago. Yesterday, Allie and I celebrated my birthday by being tourists for the day. We did the double decker bus tour that lasted the whole day. They had about two dozen stops all over the city and the buses came by every 15 minutes. I had never had an opportunity to see places like Greektown and Little Italy. I also got to see UIC, Oprah's studio, and other cool stuff. There is no doubt that Chicago is a fun city. Afterward we went to this fun little tapas restaurant called Cafe Ba Ba Reeba. It was a nice night.

1. Yesterday I had my first authentic "Chicago style" hot dog. It was good. The main rule is there is no ketchup involved. You take a normal hot dog, and you add a dill pickle, mustard, celery salt, onions, and relish. It is really good. I don't really understand why you are not allowed to add ketchup though. At this place, you can add cheese, chili, bbq sauce, and other sauces, but don't you dare add ketchup!

2. District 9 might be the most over-rated movie of all time. I was really really looking forward to the movie and I was blown away by how ridiculously, laughably terrible it was. I give the movie a D. It's not that it is the worst movie of all time, it is just the most over-rated movie. I did however rent the movie Tyson. It is an excellent documentary on Mike Tyson. I give it an A-. Even if you don't really follow boxing (which is me) it is still worth $1.00 at your local Red Box.

3. Friday night, Ann, Nimit, and I went to an 80's get together in Arlington Heights. I definitely like theme parties. My apartment is tentatively thinking of having a theme party on 9/12. We are thinking of a heaven/hell themed party, fake superhero party, Anything But Clothes party, or maybe a black light party.

4. Currently listening to "I gotta feeling" by The Black Eyed Peas.

Hero or villain?

After officially un-retiring for the third time, Bret Favre signs a two year, $25 million dollar contract with the Minnesota Vikings. At 39 years old, Favre is hardly the quarterback he was ten years ago. His body is wearing down and his legendary cannon of an arm has become more of a shot-gun than a sniper rifle. However, this is also a quarterback who owns the all-time touchdown record, record for most wins, is a multiple league MVP award winner, and Superbowl champ. I actually like the signing. Granted, living in Chicago I will not have to deal with the ubiquitous media circus. I will try to answer two questions. First, what is in it for Favre. Besides, the money, Darell Bevell, the current Vikings offensive coordinator used to be the Packers offensive coordinator when Favre won his awards and ring. Two, the Vikings have an electric receiving corp of Berrian, Rice, Wade, and now Percy Harvin. The Vikes have a top ten offensive line, a promising young tight end in Visanthe Shiancoe. Oh yeah, they also have the most dominant player in the NFL - tailback Adrian Peterson. However, why would the Vikings take a cantankerous 39 year old with shoulder issues? Simply enough, he is an improvement over the current quarterbacks on the roster. I would guess that Favre is about the 15th best QB in the NFL. That is an enormous improvement over T-Jack and Rosenfels. It's a absolutely a gamble. I just hope that the only question that remains at the end of the year is where on Hennepin Avenue I should sit for the best view of the Superbowl victory parade?

1. My vote for the 2009 award for most ridiculous ad of the year should go to Bacardi for their new ad for their Bacardi Breezer. It encourages women to go out in public with fatter, more unattractive women so they will look better. It is disgusting, sexist ads like this further perpetuate America's problems with self esteem, eating disorders, and depression. Grow up Bacardi. http://jezebel.com/5296935/bacardi-ad-uses-misogyny-to-sell-alcohol-to-women

2. Currently listening to "Sex on fire" by Kings of Leon.

His and hormones

Every year, my roommate Nimit and I make a series of sports bets about the upcoming year. Without fail, at the end of the year, I end up owing Nimit money. It is amazing. I think Nimit's apex in sports betting was in 2005 when he bet me that the White Sox would win the world series. At the time, they were in third place in the AL Central. Amazing. All are $10 bets except the last one (which is $5). Anyway, here is the list of bets this year:

A) Vikings win 12 games. John-yes, Nim-no

B) Superbowl Champion. John-Patriots, Nim-Bears

C) Bears wins-Over/Under 9.5 games. John-under, Nim-over

D) NCAA Football Champion. John-Texas, Nim-Florida.

E) Big Ten Champ. John-Penn State, Nim-Michigan State

F) World Series Champs. John-Phillies, Nim-Yankees

G) Twins + Cubs winning 175 games combined. John-under, Nim-over

H) NFC North Final Standings. John-Vikes, Pack, Bear, Lions. Nim-Bears, Vikes, Pack, Lions.

I) Gophers over/under seven wins. John-over, Nim-under

J) Cyclones win. John-five or fewer, Nim-six or more

K) Northwestern wins the Big 10 (40-1 odds). John, no. Nim, yes.

1. I saw the movie Up with my sister and cousin yesterday. It is the best animated film I have seen in a decade. I give it a solid A. The movie was funny but also dove into more serious topics like miscarriage and death. I highly recommend everyone see this movie as soon as possible.

2. I need to marry a girl who likes Ozma.

3. I watched Michael Vick's 60 minutes interview last night. I actually came away with Vick's modesty. He genuinely seems to be full of remorse. 23 months in prison just might have done that.

Good Calories Bad Calories

Last week I mentioned I read this book that was 600 pages of the most interesting information on nutrition and the science of food. Although the book started out rather dry, I give it an A+. I now look at food in a whole different light. Allow me to go into detail with what the main point of his book was and then add some other interesting tid-bits I learned from author Gary Taubes and his book Good Calories, Bad Calories. Here are his main points:

1. Dietary fat, whether saturated or not, is not a cause of obesity, heart disease, or any other chronic disease of civilization. He uses various examples including the Inuit tribe in Alaska who eat a diet almost exclusively of fatty meat yet have no reported causes of diabetes, no obesity, and basically no cancer.

2. The problem is the carbohydrates in the diet, their effect on insulin secretion, and thus the hormonal regulation of homeostasis -- the entire harmonic ensemble of the human body. The more easily digestible and refined the carbohydrates, the greater the effect on our health, weight, and well being. His point is that obesity and weight control is not a simple formula of eating more calories than you consume. Rather, weight control/metabolism is a hormonal issue. Taubes basically argues that the worst thing to happen to the development on mankind is the advancement of agriculture practices. Some how mankind survived for generations with carbs, with the refinement through agriculture practices, and the dramatic increase in fructose/sucrose consumption has led to our health downfalls with cancer, heart disease, and other issues.

3. Sugars -- sucrose, and high-fructose corn syrup specifically -- are particularly harmful, probably because the combination of fructose and glucose simultaneously elevates the insulin levels while overloading the liver with carbohydrates.

4. Through their direct effect on insulin and blood sugar, refined carbohydrates, starches, and sugars are the dietary cause of coronary heart disease and diabetes. They are the most likely dietary causes of caner, Alzheimer's disease, and the other chronic diseases of civilization.

5. Obesity is a disorder of excess fat accumulation, not overeating, and not sedentary behavior. Obese people statistically do not eat more than lean people. They eat differently.

6. Consuming excess calories does not cause us to grow fatter, any more than it causes a child to grow taller. Expending more energy than we consume does not lead to long-term weight loss; it leads to hunger.

7. Fattening and obesity are caused by an imbalance -- a disequilibrium - in the hormonal regulation of adipose tissue and fat metabolism. Fat synthesis and storage exceed the mobilization of fat from the adipose tissue and its subsequent oxidation. We become leaner when the hormonal regulation of the fat tissue reverses this balance.

8. Insulin is the primary regulator of fat storage. When insulin levels are elevated - either chronically or after a meal - we accumulate fat in our fat tissue. When insulin levels fall, we release fat from our fat tissue and use it for fuel.

9. By stimulating insulin secretion, carbohydrates make us fat and ultimately cause obesity. The fewer carbohydrates we consume, the leaner we will be.

10. By driving fat accumulation, carbohydrates also increase hunger and decrease the amount of energy we expend in metabolism and physical activity.

It's not that humans don't need some carbs. In fact our brain runs exclusively on glucose. Taubes argues that we would get plenty of carbs from just eating fruits and vegetables and the rest can be produces by our liver through ketosis. Another point I found interesting was that not all health foods are created equally. For instance leafy green vegetables are 95% water and have almost no carbohydrates while other vegetables like potatoes are 20% carbs and really not that healthy for us at all. Taubes concludes his book by highly recommending that if Americans want to be healthy they should not restrict their diets. Restricting our calories by a third will likely see us restrict our nutrient intake by a third too. Instead, we should just eat the same calories but eat differently. Eat more meat, milk, cheese, eggs, and vegetables. Eat fewer sugars, flours, potatoes, and alcohol. This book is not a diet book. I cannot stress that enough. There are no recipes, no "helpful hints". This is a scientific journal with the basic hypothesis being that insulin is singularly responsible for fat accumulation. Carbohydrates are singularly responsible for prompting insulin secretion. Carbohydrates are required for excess fat accumulation. Both Type 2 diabetes and the obese have abnormally elevated levels of circulating insulin and a "greatly exaggerated" insulin response to carbohydrates in the diet. Unfortunately, Taubes proves that obesity is very much a genetic issue. Certain people can handle carbs better than others. Certain people, due to genetics, can eat much more than the average and see no weight gain. It is not that this can't be controlled, it is just a proven fact that some people have to work harder and eat smarter than others. It's the reason that most obese people by the age of 25, have reached a weight and do not fluctuate from that weight that much. Normally, obese people don't just keep getting fatter and fatter. They reach a certain weight that genetically they are destined to be at and just stay there. Unfortunately, it takes much more work for these people to become lean. It is the same reason why some men can eat well, lift weights everyday and never put on muscle. Genetics plays a huge role in how our bodies turn out. It's not that we can't work hard to overcome genetic obstacles, it is just important to note they exist. One point I found incredibly fascinating was his small section on the most successful weight-loss drug in history - cigarettes. According to Taubes, cigarette smokers will weigh, on average, six to ten pounds less than non-smokers. When they quit, they will invariably gain that much, if not more; approximately one in ten gain over thirty pounds. There seems to be nothing smokers can do to avoid this weight gain. Taubes continues by explaining that the common belief is that ex-smokers gain weight because they eat more once they quit. They will, but according to studies only in the first two or three weeks. After a month, former smokers will be eating no more than they would have been and they continued to smoke. The excess of calories consumed is not enough to explain the weight gain. The evidence suggests that nicotine induces weight loss by working on fat cells to increase their insulin resistance, while also deceasing the lipoprotein-lipase activity on these cells, both of which serve to inhibit the accumulation of fat and promote its mobilization over storage. Nicotine also seems to promote the mobilization of fatty acids directly by stimulating receptors on the membranes of the fat cells that are normally triggered by hormones such as adrenaline. Basically, when smokers quit, they gain weight because their fat cells respond to the absence of nicotine by significantly increasing lipoprotein-lipase activity. By the way, the weigh-reduction drug fenfluramine (phen-fen), which was banned in 97, worked in the same manner. This is yet another reason never to start smoking. When you quit, your body will gain weight! I know this is long and I tried not to bore you. I just find this stuff really interesting. I could go on it greater detail about any point if you want.

Inner City Pressure

It is good to be home. I decided to head home for a couple of nights and see some MN friends and family. The weather is beautiful but I am stuck inside doing my civic duty. All I have heard for the past few weeks is about the health care plan that congress is debating about. Obama two days ago even told Representative Leonard Boswell (D-IA) that he would gladly be a one term president if that means health care reform. Okay... what the heck does that mean? With the help of the NY Times, Wall Street Journal, and CNN, I think I have figured out what the plans are. There is no doubt Obama is taking enormous political risks by tackling health care above everything else right now. In early 1994, President Clinton tried this and it resulted with the Republicans, led by Newt Gingrich, throwing out the Democrats in the mid-term elections. Surely, Obama is aware of the risk. At its most basic level, Obama is proposing a plan that is similar to Medicare and would allow a government plan to compete with private insurance plans. Republicans have so far opposed the plan. They fear that the majority of employers will stop providing any insurance plans for their employees and force the government to pick up the tab. To me, it is a question of morality. How can we as a country justify being the only Westernised country to not have universal health coverage. There are currently almost 50 million Americans who have no health care. Does congress have a moral obligation to insure them? Keep in mind that already hospitals are mandated to treat everyone in the case of an emergency, regardless if they have insurance or not. Congress is currently debating a variety of plans. Some of them would require mandatory insurance, some would not. Then of course there is the idea of just expanding the programs like medicaid, and medicare and imposing tighter regulation on the private health insurance. One plan being debated in Senate is to expand medicaid to everyone at the poverty line and 150% above it. I think everyone would agree that the current system is failing. The question is how can we afford to fix it. The plans being debated in congress all cost about $100 billion a year. Yikes! Naturally, the Democrats being completely uncreative as usual have suggested taxing the wealthy (in this case, families making more than $350,000 a year). Naturally, every single Republican and many blue dog Democrats oppose this. The bottom line is we are months away from coming up with a final plan that will be put on Obama's desk. I sure hope Obama knows what he is doing. Obama's approval rating keeps waning. He is now at about 48% nationally. However, the approval rating of Congress... 19%!!

1. One of my favorite songs of all time is the Tears For Fears cover of "Mad World" by Gary Jules. Yesterday, I searched for it on Youtube and I stumbled upon American Idol contestant Adam Lambert. I do not watch AI, and I was unfamiliar with him. I love his version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Emh6ceA6zIg&feature=related

2. Apparently Dick Cheney is writing his memoirs and word is he is going to be hyper critical of President Bush. Little in life gives me more joy than bickering amongst GOP leaders.

3. Only twenty more days until the kick-off the college football season. Who's counting?

4. Yesterday I saw the movie Funny People with my sister and a family friend. I give it like a B-. My sister gave it a D. It is pretty funny but it is outrageously sexist and basically 160 minutes of genitalia jokes. I don't know why Judd Apatow has to be obscenely lewd in all of his movies.

Our time together was too transitory

Another whirlwind weekend is complete. My good friend Mike made his second trip to Chicago of the summer on Wednesday. What a great long weekend. Thursday night we went to a local improv club, The Playground. The show was good. Afterward, we met some friends at Hye Bar and relaxed the rest of the evening. Friday was a new experience for us. Mike and I walked around for a while before eventually helping a friend wedding dress shop. I had no idea how expensive wedding dresses are. We saw dresses that went up to 10k!! It is absurd how expensive weddings are. After a nice dinner at The Counter, we did a little bar hopping before calling it a night. Saturday, the boys and I went downtown to do a little shopping. I cannot believe how old and uncool I felt. We were going into the shops on Michigan Avenue and I clearly had no idea what any of these styles, or brands were. H&M? Famous Stars and Stripes? Ed Hardy? Forever 21? I have never even heard of these places. I will go ahead and stick with my jeans and Gopher t-shirts thank you very much. Saturday night, Nimit, Mike, and I went to one of Chicago's more famous comedy clubs, i.O. It was amazingly funny!! I will definitely be going there. Sunday was so hot we didn't spend much time outside. Mike and I walked around Chinatown. It is much smaller than the Chinatown's I have seen in Vancouver, New York, or San Francisco.

1. http://www.newsweek.com/id/204300/page/1. Embarrassingly I have only read two of the 50 books Newsweek says all Americans should/need to read. I have read Frankenstein and John Lewis' autobiography.

2. Finally the Minnesota Timberwolves have hired a new coach. Former Bad Boy Kurt Rambis. Although he has never been a head coach, when he was a player, he was always the rough, bad ass type of player. I hope he can teach that toughness to the Timberpups.

My favorite Palin quote

Today on Palin's Facebook page she said:

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil."

I am hardly a Sarah Palin supporter. However, if she continues with hilarious quotes like this, I am fine with her sticking around for a while.

Moon tanning

If it's the first week in August, that can only mean one thing... Discovery Channel is doing its annual Shark Week marathon. However, I have been unable to watch any new episodes this week because I have spent the past five days in Michigan. (There is no vacation when you're unemployed??) Although I had a great time jet-skiing, kayaking, and getting some sun, I learned one valuable lesson... I have horrendous balance. I tried wind-surfing and water-skiing. The results were disastrous.

1. What is the NFL's problem? If Eli Manning's last name were Smith or Johnson, would he have been the #1 pick? Of course not. If he was not Peyton's brother or Archie's third son, would he, this morning, have received a six year, $97,000,000 deal?!?! Of course not. He will now be paid more than one million dollars per game for the next six years. I decided to look at every single starting quarterback from last year's NFL rosters. I determined that Eli should be ranked between as the 11th and 14th best quarterback in the NFL. As of today, he is the highest paid. He will make more money than last year's NFL MVP. Oh yeah, Eli's older brother, Peyton. Absolutely amazing.

2. I finished a couple of books in Michigan. One of them I will devote a whole blog post to in a later day, but the other book I read was The Broker by John Grisham. It was light, easy to read, and fun; which is everything I wanted. After reading a serious book, a fluffy novel was just what the doctored order. If you are looking for a good summer read, pick up a copy.

3. I had never seen an episode of Flight of the Conchords until yesterday. I have now seen the first three and I am hooked!! The show is unbelievably funny! Why did no one demand I begin viewing this hilarity earlier?!

4. Happy 48th birthday to President Obama! By the way, the state of Hawaii has confirmed that they have the original Obama birth certificate. Can we all stop with the ridiculous nonsense that he was not born in America?